El Excellente

sure

Alpha Centauri will provide a solution.

Week 9 News  Bitter fight for the Wildcard. While the majority of the divisions are set with a clear leader currently, the battle for the Wildcards are currently raging. In the A-Conference, Pallas Purple Rage have currently stolen the Wildcard from the Arcadia Bandits with a direct win against them and a win against Leda last week. In the N-Conference, the Faraway Falcons are hawking, waiting on a mistake by Hathor, Trappist or even Shoreridge. Back on track. With a 26-23 victory over Boot Hill, Wiaria seems to have gotten back on track. Shut out. The Sabercats win with 16 points scored against Tango Urillo, who have posted zero. Putting Trappist back in place. Travelling all the way to Faxx, it was not a pleasant day for Trappist. They suffered a 10-38 defeat. How do I play this game? The Karrus Centaurs just seem out of their minds and they can't get their groove going. The Zegama Beach Barracudas beheaded the Centaurs with a 7-34 victory. Sharpening up for the playoffs. The Centurions from Alpha-Centauri are looking to up their game for the incoming playoffs, which they are certain they will reach. They have shown the Admirals from Samson their ways, defeating them 35-9. Runningback LaDorian Rivers shaped up after his weak last two performances and looked especially sharp, posting 228 rushing yards against Samson - FJL single-game record. He also scored 3 Touchdowns for the Centurions. Week 9 Team Stats  Release the kraken. The Leda Lakemonsters currently house the most potent offense in the entire FJL. They post a whopping 30.9 points per game, followed just by the Barracudas (30.4), Pallas (29.7) and Alpha Centauri (29.3). Stop right there. On the other hand, the Sabercats from Sanctuary host the most ferocious defense in the league, with only 10.1 points per game allowed. Way behind with a single field-goal score are the Faxx Fury with 13.3 points per game allowed (ppga), Venad-4 with 13.6 and Trappist with 13.8. This one has your name on it! The Epsilon Prime Privateers are leading the league with a terrible 16 thrown interceptions. Passes which were meant for the Privateers' receivers have simply been intercepted by the enemy defense. They are followed by Shoreridge (15), Castillo (13) and Elixaeberna, Caralon and Iskander (all 12). I spy with my little eye. On the other hand, the Hathor Avalanche are leading the league in intercepting passes of the opposing quarterback with 15 "picks". Followed by Shoreridge (14), Wiaria, Sanctuary and Roku San (13). Now it counts. From 13 times their opponents have entered the "red zone" (the last 30 yards of your own half before the opponent may score a touchdown), the Sanctuary Sabercats have only allowed 3 Touchdowns and 7 fieldgoals. This means that whenever a team enters the last 30 yards of the Sabercats' half and their defense is backed up against their own endzone, they are still not likely to score more than 3.2 points. The Faraway Falcons are equally good with 13 visits allowed, 4 Touchdowns/8 Fieldgoals (4.0 points per visit) and the Argonauts with 17/5/10 for 3.8 Why stop now? On the other hand, the most dangerous offense is housed by the Alpha Centauri Centurions. Whenever they decide to march the jumpball field, they do not intend to stop. They lead the league with 36 redzone visits, scoring 24 touchdowns and 10 fieldgoals on all those trips. This accumulates to 5.5 points per visit. The Faxx Fury have 35 visits but only 19 touchdowns and 13 fieldgoals, 4.9 points per visit. Opportunistic. Going by the above statline, there's also the Karrus Centaurs who manage to be highly efficient. Through 9 weeks they have had only 16 redzone visits, but managed to score 13 touchdowns on them and 3 fieldgoals. That means they get away with points everytime they see the endzone in reach. It accumulates to 6.3 points per visit. (Which is more than one touchdown for 6 points.) The shivers. On the other hand, the Iskander Imperials allowed 18 redzone visits and 12 touchdowns and 6 fieldgoals for 5.7. You're allowed to throw this? Running our belowed jumpball-egg is a valid tactic and often employed by the Alpha Centauri Centurions who are highly efficient rushing the ball down the field. Over 9 weeks, they have rushed the ball 217 times, combining for 1391 yards in total. That's 5.13 yards per run. LaDorian "Big Black" Rivers is the key factor here, with over 965 rushing yards this season. He's bound to hit the 1k mark easily. Quarterback Kevin Trudeau is also quick on his feet. Should he not see someone to pass the ball to, he's eager to run it himself! He's done it 36 times for a total of 260! The run-heaviest team, by the way, are the Faxx Fury, who have now rushed a total of 307 times for 1139 yards. Here, you have it! On the other hand, the most potent passing offense belongs to the Pallas Purple Rage, with over 3061 yards thrown. They're followed by the Barracudas (2469), Wiaria (2339) and Shoreridge (2300) I'll hit it or I wont throw it. The Sabercats post the 'safest' passing team in the league with 274 passing attempts for 198 pass completions. This accumulates to a 72.3 pass completion percentage. Most in the FJL. Week 9 Individual Stats Passing Leaders: Irving Adams, PAL, 259 of 374 for 3061 yards. Adamos Martis, ZBB, 173/246 for 2079 Rushing Leaders: LaDorian "Big Black" Rivers, ACC, 184/965. Torsten Kirkegaard, HAT, 180/913 Receiving Leaders: Brian Clyfford, PAL, 75 catches for 965 yds, 9 TDs. Clement Hopkins, SHO, 69/884/4. Dimitrij Damjanovski, WIA, 64/718/7 Tackling machine: Courtney Wuagneux, Safety, SAM, 66. Kelly O'Donnell, LB, TRA, 62. Nolan Petrolis, LB, PAL, 62. No-Fly-Zone: Gerrard "Rooster" Cord from Shoreridge III posts a pass-defense percentage of 91.0%. Only 9 percent of all passes thrown his direction are a completion. He is leading the league with 6 interceptions.

sry but today is jumpball day

Week 8 Standings AC North W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Sanctuary Sabercats 8 0 0 1.000 207 81 6-0 3-0 Arcadia Bandits 4 4 0 .500 97 128 3-3 2-0 Sarns III Smashers 4 5 0 .444 162 183 3-4 1-3 Elixaeberna Bluedevils 3 6 0 .333 140 186 2-4 1-4 AC South W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Roku San Brigadiers 5 3 0 .625 156 153 4-2 3-0 Pallas Purple Rage 5 4 0 .556 267 206 4-3 1-1 Pizarro Phantoms 4 5 0 .444 143 174 2-5 1-2 Castillo Colonials 2 7 0 .222 123 186 1-4 0-2 AC East W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Zegama Beach Barracudas 8 1 0 .889 274 135 6-1 3-0 Leda Lakemonsters 5 3 0 .625 247 169 4-2 1-1 Samson Admirals 3 6 0 .333 87 153 1-5 0-2 Rhohan Commandos 2 6 0 .250 108 145 2-3 1-2 AC West W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Alpha Centauri Centurions 6 2 0 .750 234 137 4-2 2-0 Iskander Imperials 4 4 0 .500 107 191 2-4 0-1 Claudius I Crusaders 3 6 0 .333 116 172 3-4 1-2 Karrus Centaurs 2 6 0 .250 153 180 2-3 1-1 NC North W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Faxx Fury 8 1 0 .889 253 120 7-0 2-0 Hathor Avalanche 6 2 0 .750 177 140 3-1 1-0 Epsilon Prime Privateers 3 5 0 .375 114 185 3-3 1-2 Percival Prowlers 2 6 0 .250 110 174 1-5 0-2 NC South W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Shoreridge III Mightycocks 6 3 0 .667 185 134 4-2 2-0 Faraway Falcons 5 3 0 .625 155 114 4-2 2-0 Castus Conquerers 2 6 0 .250 90 179 2-5 1-2 Tango Urilla Dusters 1 7 0 .125 87 172 0-5 0-3 NC East W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Wiaria Argonauts 8 1 0 .889 248 141 6-1 1-1 Trappist Titans 6 3 0 .667 130 124 4-2 3-0 Cassandra Critters 3 5 0 .375 109 129 3-2 1-1 Scarvis Stars 1 7 0 .125 122 182 0-6 0-3 NC West W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Venad 4 Raiders 6 2 0 .750 132 109 5-1 3-0 Cordelia Cyclones 4 4 0 .500 129 118 2-3 1-0 Boot Hill Hillbillies 4 4 0 .500 164 155 2-3 0-1 Caralon Comets 1 7 0 .125 74 145 1-6 0-3

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quick admins, how do we CK this guy? oh i know, we drop a penny into a bughive!

card packs now 7.99

From now on card packs will include 1 card from a special edition of your choice! currently only the retard edition is available though

i sent u cards 2 hours ago dickhead

u realize by leaking these u make it possible for anyone to include them in their album right

there'll be a retard edition dw

i do have a few pictures of him...

UPDATED. You can now start collecting all 31 Base Edition cards. Card rarity is based on server activity. More cards will come in special editions. I am not taking requests. This is my way of mocking all of you. You're free to send pictures though.

i dont see it?

i can only make cards for people i got an ingame screenshot of sry

Get your gear N O W Assemble your album. Wait for Special Editions. Buy a booster pack every week. Collect them all! You can PM me once every week to purchase trading cards! The random generator will generate cards and you will fill your SSTRP TCG album! (or not because you will have doubles). No more will you receive corporal punishment when you say "Damn, I got another Bently"! Collect them all! Stay tuned for special editions and booster packs as a) holidays progress and b) I see more people with stupid PACs Base Edition Base Edition Drop probability Amukama card - 1.84% Bellic - 2.45% Bently - 3.67% Donovan - 2.45% Larsen - 1.83% Layland - 3.05% Stevenson - 4.29% Ziola - 1.83% Asahi - 4.29% Alfred Smith - 0.631% Bohannon - 0.631% Brooker - 1.83% Dubois - 4.9% Edwards - 1.22% Eley - 4.9% Engine - 0.631% Esposito - 1.83% Sorrentino - 7.96% Gargano - 2.45% O. Graham - 2.45% L.Graham - 3% Krautstag - 3% Lorenzo - 2.45% Maclagan - 6.13% Maxwell - 6.13% Pacheco - 1.22% Palmer - 1.22% Redbrick - 5.5% Vond - 0.631% Westervelt - 11.6% York - 3.0% Retard Edition RE Drop chances: Cutter - 9% Faust - 19% Hudson - 3% Klauster - 15% Larsen - 14% Rose - 8% Sherman - 8% Secret card - 7% Sorrentino - 17% Deadcunt Edition

Too much data? Not accessible at a quick glance? Prefer reading over numbers? Mobile Infantry? See our info stream below!

Week 8 News Sanctuary trump Iskander at home 59-23. Iskander Imperial's player haven't really been expecting a warm welcome on the colony of Sanctuary, but the fan chants were beyond expectations. The Sabercats remain the only undefeated team in the FJL. Someone call Morita because someone seems to have armed Leda and Pallas with the big guns. In a massive shootout, the Purple Rage win 56 to 52 (!!!) against the Leda Lakemonsters. This marks the highest scoring game in the history of the FJL with a total of 108 points scored in a single match. Roku San Brigadiers eating W's. Being pressured by the win of Pallas' team, the Brigadiers managed to stay on top of their division above Pallas Purple Rage by winning overthe Castillo Colonials. Potential Super Bowl matchup tested. The Zegama Beach Barracudas greeted the Hathor Avalanche. In the early stages of the season, this was presumed to be one possible matchup for the final game of the season, the bowl game. The Barracudas swallowed the Avalanche 40-13. Due to this loss, the Faxx Fury have taken over the NC North, on their way to clinch a playoff spot. Hathor is currently in a wildcard spot. Tight, Tighter, AC West. The Centurions from Alpha Centauri currently lead this division (with a recent 34-7 win over Caralon), but beware! The Imperials and the Crusaders from Claudius I are in the h u n t! Really now? The NC South remains undecided. The Faraway Fighting Falcons and the Shoreridge III Mightycocks keep sharing a record, 5-3 now. Currently the Falcons are ahead and claim the top of the division. Argonauts defeated after space-drama. After a ridiculous space-drama, involving the 112th Mobile Infantry Division who turned the situation into a further debacle (Dejan Karandzhulov died), the Wiaria Argonauts lost at home to their bitter rivals, the Trappist Titans, with a devastating 9-21 defeat. The Wiaria Argonauts have not managed a single touchdown this entire game, relying solely on fieldgoals. Dimitrij Damjanovski was playing with a hand injury and Hunter Majka is currently under investigation for murderer investigations, but played. Cornerback Alvin Harden sprained his thumb during the game but is listed as "Probable" and will be expected to suit up again next week when Boot Hill comes to Wiaria.

Hello Trooper! On the bounce? Sitting in a dropship? Waiting for orders in your FOB? Nothing to do? Worry not! We at FSN have you covered - Once subscribed, this report will automatically update with all the news in and around the Federal Jumpball League. It will download to your local PDA. You can reach this anywhere in the outermost space - even on Venad 4! The best part? For you, The Mobile Infantry, this is all for free - and it's all kept short and concise! This way, you can keep updated and have enough time to brag about your killcount!

Week 8 Standings Bold = Division leaders Italic = Current wildcard spot AC North W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Sanctuary Sabercats 7 0 0 1.000 191 81 6-0 3-0 Arcadia Bandits 4 3 0 .571 79 97 3-2 2-0 Sarns III Smashers 4 4 0 .500 148 155 3-3 1-2 Elixaeberna Bluedevils 2 6 0 .250 112 172 1-4 0-4 AC South W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Roku San Brigadiers 5 3 0 .625 156 153 4-2 3-0 Pallas Purple Rage 4 4 0 .500 236 188 3-3 1-1 Pizarro Phantoms 3 5 0 .375 126 164 2-5 1-2 Castillo Colonials 1 7 0 .125 110 176 1-4 0-2 AC East W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Zegama Beach Barracudas 7 1 0 .875 240 128 5-1 3-0 Leda Lakemonsters 4 3 0 .571 216 152 3-2 1-1 Samson Admirals 3 5 0 .375 78 118 1-4 0-2 Rhohan Commandos 2 6 0 .250 108 145 2-3 1-2 AC West W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Alpha Centauri Centurions 5 2 0 .714 199 128 3-2 2-0 Iskander Imperials 3 4 0 .429 86 178 2-4 0-1 Claudius I Crusaders 3 5 0 .375 99 141 3-3 1-2 Karrus Centaurs 2 5 0 .286 146 146 2-2 1-1 NC North W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Faxx Fury 7 1 0 .875 215 110 6-0 2-0 Hathor Avalanche 6 2 0 .750 177 140 3-1 1-0 Epsilon Prime Privateers 3 5 0 .375 114 185 3-3 1-2 Percival Prowlers 2 6 0 .250 110 174 1-5 0-2 NC South W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Faraway Falcons 5 3 0 .625 155 114 4-2 2-0 Shoreridge III Mightycocks 5 3 0 .625 164 131 3-2 1-0 Castus Conquerers 2 5 0 .286 87 158 2-4 1-1 Tango Urilla Dusters 1 6 0 .143 87 156 0-5 0-3 NC East W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Wiaria Argonauts 7 1 0 .875 222 118 5-1 1-1 Trappist Titans 6 2 0 .750 120 86 4-1 3-0 Cassandra Critters 3 4 0 .429 99 116 3-2 1-1 Scarvis Stars 1 6 0 .143 112 165 0-6 0-3 NC West W L T Pct PF PA Conf Div Venad 4 Raiders 5 2 0 .714 112 103 4-1 2-0 Cordelia Cyclones 4 3 0 .571 116 97 2-3 1-0 Boot Hill Hillbillies 4 3 0 .571 141 129 2-2 0-1 Caralon Comets 1 6 0 .143 68 125 1-5 0-2

it's a competition for 50 US dollars

Sure; Done. Mobile Infantry Uniform content textures have been shrinked from 482 MB to 80. The result is a .GMA sized at 26 MB and a second workshop addon for the materials is now redundant; your turn.

Starship Hooters

inb4 people pose for loadscreens on their snackpac™ to verify its them