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Wauri Matene

El Excellente

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El Excellente Behemecoatyl

El Excellente

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IOEm4G5.jpg

Kaua e mate wheke mate ururoa

 

 


Name: Wauri Matene

Weight: 224 Lbs
Height: 6.0
Homeworld:  Qetesh, Beta Scorpii System.

Religious dedication: Tūmatauenga

Mental Illnesses: None
Mental State: Sane
Habits & Hobbies: Attend and care for trophies.
Morale:

¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦¦

Dead                                         not dead


Strength: 20/20
Dexterity: 7/20
Constitution: 8/20
Intelligence: 5/20
Wisdom: 13/20
Charisma: 90/20
Combat Rating: 15/10
Personal Relationships:

Respected|Not so Respected|Not Respected|Useless|Dinner|Indifferent

Wauri Matene - Matene likes hearing Matene talk about Matene. Matene!
Robert Shaw - Used to be wise master of our Infantry. Matene thinks he issued the right orders most of the time.

Brian Charles Larsen - Respectable commander of people with a certain presence, although he seems to be missing a penis. He is very merciful to people and I think I can still learn a lot from him

Laurel Grey - Cultured and understanding, she was a woman of class.

Garret Swift - Not as dead as I am
Naomi Vond - In times of peace, you must be peaceful. In times of evil, you must be evil. She has finally grown to understand this but once again she left us. Cannot even blame her.

Frank Esposito - Weird person. Although I like his style; he brings a machete into combat.

E.E. Bellic - On a sheet I submitted to Sorrentino I envisioned her as Sergeant. Met her expectations and isn't dead yet. Matene happy.

Aphelion Dominica - Same as Bellic, except she's mistaking the glorious Infantry for a ballet class. Not as hesitant on executing orders, however. Faithfully loyal servant when it comes to discipline and order, and I can't deny but enjoy interrupting so called "sex" among subordinate Troopers with her.

Cullen Bohannon - He was retarded, but good cannon fodder. Did his job as such as he jumped on a grenade. I wanted to turn him into a Sergeant at some point but the only thing he could command was a grenade who was about to bust his gut wide open.

Annabelle Bohannon - The least incestuous of the three. I dubbed her Hard-Knoxx because she beat Knoxx in the 'battle of the bitches', the fight of whoever wasn't touched by their fathers but their creepy uncles at night.
Daisy Bailey - She would be somewhat close to being a decent human being if she wasn't a marauder and shagging her subordinates. I haven't seen her in a while. Maybe she got transferred because she slept with everyone but me?

Silas Ren - Extremely mouthy and squishy. One second she's telling you to 'shut up', the next second she's crying in some dark corner because you yelled at her. This person clearly faked their age to join the glorious Mobile Infantry. Cannot blame her for that. Everyone wants to be infantry. But she is clearly a kid in a men's world.
Nikolai Vasily Dimov - I don't think he has been to war before. Recently I learned he conspired with a mutineer. I'm going to kill this man the next time I see him on a battlefield.

Jon Paul Bohannon - Incestuous cunt who is even too stupid to be somewhat important in the least important faction in the entire Federation.

Jacqueline Martin - Happened to have fucked with Dimov. Guilty of treason and not even punished for it! How can this be?

Blade Strzalka - Decent Infantryman if I remember correctly. Could be a Lance if he was around more.

Juan Pablo - I don't know who this is. Sounds like some filthy janitor. If so; atleast they're doing their job.

Michelle Cooper - I don't think I've talked to her much. All I really know is she's fucking the marine, Poulsen? Christensen? Can't blame him. She has a huge rack. I'd stow my spear in there.

Trey Winters - I know I'm supposed to know this guy but I don't. I think he lead the yellowjackets and some point.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Matene's Diary

Spoiler

14/7/2296
diaries are for girls

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7/8/2296
dear diary, here are my finest effigies:
lfmxFXY.jpgtp7939Q.jpgcLWpNxJ.jpggODEN0A.jpg

they sure keep the seperatist filth away!

 

 

 

 

 

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El Excellente Behemecoatyl

El Excellente

Posted
  • Author
Posted
18 hours ago, yahtz said:

add matene

my favourite

18 hours ago, Litcoins said:

add bellic

done

18 hours ago, HazyDay said:

Add Bailey.

done

17 hours ago, CamGrrr said:

Winters

done

15 hours ago, Heresiarch Grimm said:

Aph

done

8 hours ago, The Terminator said:

Michelle Cooper. :P

done

7 hours ago, Bohannon said:

every bohannon ever

 

done

2 hours ago, Rook said:

Juan Pablo

who

1 hour ago, Blade said:

Add Blade Strzalka

done

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El Excellente Behemecoatyl

El Excellente

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Best of Matene, according to the quotes thread

 

Spoiler

* Pvt. Wauri Matene holds his tummy with his right hand, he leads the counter with his left.
Spc. Matthias ''Llama'' Dahl says, "What are you doing?"
** Pvt. Wauri Matene fully leans over the counter and begins spewing over the cactus.
** Spc. Matthias ''Llama'' Dahl stands, then clears his throat.
Spc. Matthias ''Llama'' Dahl yells: ''I want to end it all.''

 

 

Spoiler

 

Cpl. Wauri Matene says, "Strudel Strudel Strudel, question"
Str. Strudel 'Strudel' Strudel says, "Yeah?"

 

 

 

 
Spoiler

 

Cpl. Naomi Vond says, "That's Matene, rookie."
Cpl. Naomi Vond says, "Don't question the spear."
SSgt. Otto Dresdner says, "Don't question Matene."
SSgt. Otto Dresdner says, "Just listen to him."
Sgt. Florens 'Green Horn' AgterEekte yells: ''Yeah. Don't question Matene.''

 

 

Spoiler

 

WO. Wauri Matene says, "DOCTOR HELLO"
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "WHAT"
WO. Wauri Matene says, "AMPUTATE MORE TROOPERS"
WO. Wauri Matene says, "I'M RUNNING LOW ON EXTREMITIES"
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "Soooo... you're hungry?"
WO. Wauri Matene says, "Yes."
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "Spare limbs are kept in the freezers."
WO. Wauri Matene says, "Are they edible?"
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "Once you let them thaw, they could be. "
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "But they're severed, so there's about eighty-percent less fat."
WO. Wauri Matene says, "Tell the engineers to pre-heat the oven."
WO. Wauri Matene says, "280 degrees, Celsius."
** WO. Wauri Matene walks towards the freezer to look inside.
** WO. Wauri Matene feels like having arm today
WO. Wauri Matene has rolled 33 (33 + 0).
** WO. Wauri Matene looks for legs instead.
WO. Wauri Matene has rolled 68 (68 + 0).
WO. Wauri Matene says, "Doctor"
WO. Wauri Matene says, "I found a calf"
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "Odd. We don't usually allow animals on the ship..."
WO. Wauri Matene says, "So can I have this leg?"
Dr. Sally W. Ferguson says, "Sure, doesn't belong to anybody now."
WO. Wauri Matene says, "Good"
[RADIO] WO. Wauri Matene: Private Kitchen
[RADIO] WO. Wauri Matene: Preheat the oven to 280 degrees.
[RADIO] WO. Wauri Matene: Celsius.

 

 

 


 

Spoiler

 

Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''KEEP THOSE PUSHUPS COMING YOU GOD DAMN TWINKIE ROLL.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''ONE-TUBBY TUBBY.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''TWO-CHUBBY CHUBBY.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''THREE-WUBBY DUBBY.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''FOUR-LOSE SOME FUCKING WEIGHT YOU FUCK.''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''FIVE-YOU'RE STILL TOO FAT''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''SIX- YOU'RE GONNA EXPLODE FROM ALL THAT WEIGHT CRUSHING YOUR LEGS.''

 

 

 


 

Spoiler

Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''What the fuck is this god for saken shit-stained sounding Mexican music?''
Sgt. Wauri Matene says, "Sergeant Knickerbocker."
** Sgt. Wauri Matene nods
** LCpl. John 'Turtle Shit' Immelmann turns left towards Moss.
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''Turtle Shit.''
LCpl. John 'Turtle Shit' Immelmann says, "Hello, sergeant."
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''Did you play this shitty McMuffin queerbo music?''
LCpl. John 'Turtle Shit' Immelmann says, "No, sergeant."
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''WHAT THE FUCK SERGEANT''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''YOU CALL THIS YELLING AT TROOPERS?''
** Sgt. Naomi Vond slowly cranes her head back toward Moss. "Sergeant Moss. Please refrain from disturbin' my patients. It's good that you're here though, I have someone for you."
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''Don't you fucking raise your tone with me you tribal spear chucking fuck.''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''YOUR YELLING IS A DISGRACE TO THE SERGEANT COMMUNITY''
Sgt. Naomi Vond says, "Stop. yelling. in. my. bay. please. thank. you."
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''YELL HARDER I CANNOT HEAR YOU.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''You're a disgrace to mankind you heathen.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''YOU WANNA RAISE YOUR VOICE WITH ME YOU UGGA CHAKA FUCK?''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''YELL HARDER I CANNOT HEAR YOU.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''YOU CIRCUMSISE AT THE AGE OF FIFTEEN.''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''YOU'RE A GODLESS FREAK.''
** Sgt. Naomi Vond brought her hand up to her mouth to give an extremely loud, high pitched whistle toward the two, seeking to gain their attention.
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''A SPEAR CHUCKER.''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''LET ME PENIS OUT OF THIS''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''A GOD DAMN JUNGLE BUNNY.''
** LCpl. John 'Turtle Shit' Immelmann observes this titanic clash.
Sgt. Naomi Vond says, "Both of you, take this outta' my bay."
** Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss turns to Vond,
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''LISTEN HERE MISS PRISS.''

Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''I DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO FUCKING DO.''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN INTERRUPTING IN A YELL''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''WHERE'S YOUR SHITDICK THAT YOU WANT ME TO LICK CLEAN?''
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''HOW DO YOU EVEN DARE INTERRUPTING SOMEONE WHILE YELLING''
Sgt. Naomi Vond says, "No. No I don't think I will. As Executive Medical Officer, I am telling you to get the fuck out of my medical bay and to stop disturbing my patients. If you'd care to make yourself useful, I have a Recruit severely lacking in the discipline department."
Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''MAYBE WE WILL DO THAT, BUT OUT OF FREE WILL, NOT BECAUSE YOU TOLD US TO''

Spoiler

Sgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''HEY YOU COCKGOBBLERS''
Sgt. Oswald 'Poet' Moss yells: ''LET'S GO MISTER MEEYAGEE.''


 

Spoiler

** SSgt. Wauri Matene farts in the car and leaves the windows rolled up.
** WO. Nikolai V. Dimov holds his breath.

 

Spoiler

** TSgt. Daisy ''Ceres'' Bailey raises her hand.
** SSgt. Wauri Matene highfives her because there are no questions necessary

Spoiler

** SSgt. Wauri Matene picks Bohannon up and throws her into the net like a little dog.
3Spc. Annabelle K. Bohannon says, "I don't want her to get hit if someone does that is all."
SSgt. Wauri Matene has rolled 69 (29 + 40).
3Spc. Annabelle K. Bohannon has rolled 40 (40 + 0).
[LOOC] 3Spc. Annabelle K. Bohannon: fu
[LOOC] Pvt. Rock Sanders: whats the plus shite
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Bohannon"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "You can't lay in those."
***gets thrown over into the net like a little dog (3Spc. Annabelle K. Bohannon)

Spoiler

** Cpl. Naomi Vond casts a sideways glance toward Matene, tilting her head curiously at the man's patch. She examines it closely.
** 3Spc. Annabelle K. Bohannon hangs up the labcoat
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Thanks."
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Do you want to see my cock?"
** SSgt. Wauri Matene licks his lips.
** Pfc. Aphelion 'Aff' Dominica turns her head slightly towards Matene. "Staff Sergeant, given your dietary tendencies, would you know of where a hand could be?"


 

Spoiler

** SSgt. Wauri Matene has sex with pacheco
SSgt. Wauri Matene has rolled 69 (69 + 0).
** SSgt. Wauri Matene fucks vond
SSgt. Wauri Matene has rolled 69 (69 + 0).

Spoiler

SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Private"
[LOOC] Pfc. Jaden Sutton: You'd litterally have to knock me out first.
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "If you keep looking at me like that"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "You're going to have to ask me out"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "You'll invite me"
Pfc. Eric McDowly yells: ''Wha?!''
** Pvt. Rock Sanders starts laughing
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "We will have a fine night"
3Spc. Lorenzo Bianchi says, "Staff Sergeant, will you go out with me for some dinner?"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "You will pay"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "I will dump you"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Hearts will be broken"
3Spc. Lorenzo Bianchi says, "I hear medical has some fresh legs."
** Pfc. Eric McDowly laughs "I would get you to pay anyway sarge"
Pfc. Jaden Sutton says, "So, whats the darkest joke everyones got?"
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "That's not how you treat a lady, Private."


 

Spoiler

Cpl. Frank Esposito yells: ''You are lucky I can't touch you, but on the other fucking hand Staff Sergeant Matene can, he will make this the most unpleasent time you can possibly imagine for the both of you.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Private''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''I want you to rock her world now like nobody else before you has.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''You're going to fuck her from all angles until your dick is sore.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''You're going to fuck her missionary, you're going to fuck her doggy, you're going to do the chinese wok,''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''You're going to do the dying cucumber, you'll be doing 69''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''You'll ride her and she'll ride you, reverse and frontal''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''You won't leave this room before you had five hours of sex.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''DO YOU''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''UNDERSTAND ME''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVATE?''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Commence.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Start with some sweet sweet missionary.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Yes.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Hands on her hips and go, Trooper.''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Do you want me to show you?''
** SSgt. Wauri Matene unbuckles his belt.
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''I CAN'T SEE NOR CAN I HEAR YOU FUCKING, PRIVATE''
SSgt. Wauri Matene yells: ''Tell me specialist, is he in yet?''
SSgt. Wauri Matene says, "Orgy's over."

Spoiler

[RADIO] SgtMaj. Wauri Matene: I believe something is wrong with the lighting? Tuuli appears prettier than usual?

 

  • Winner 1
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Bohannon Plasma Bug

Bohannon

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, Centrix said:

but did this character like you?

I mean I made it in the blue 

Cullen Bohannon - He was retarded, but good cannon fodder. Did his job as such as he jumped on a grenade. I wanted to turn him into a Sergeant at some point but the only thing he could command was a grenade who was about to bust his gut wide open.

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